Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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