I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
