well you can't waste a boner
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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