Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
