Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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