I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
