wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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