Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
