the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
