I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize