He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
