so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
