Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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