I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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