all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize