i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
