I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
