I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
