I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
