Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
