You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
be right there i have to get my cape
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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