***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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