I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
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She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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