dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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