she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
