And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
