we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize