Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
