One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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