my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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