this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
