I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
