Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
