Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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