She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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