Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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