So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
We got so high we made milksteak
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
