It was confusing and full of hummus
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
