I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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