in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize