i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
