No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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