Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
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