I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
