his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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