I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
