I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
