I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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