but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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