It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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