I will die if light touches me.
its not stalking. its research.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
