4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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