Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
