I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
