So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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