I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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