the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
