WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
