Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
