Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
