it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
