Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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