He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
