Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(562): View more from California

I wanna eat

(562): View more from California

then frost

(562): View more from California

then eat your cupcake

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(571): View more from Virginia

it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"

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(407): View more from Florida

my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

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(309): View more from Illinois

it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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(705): View more from Ontario

her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?

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(907): View more from Alaska

I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.

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