hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
