Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
